The thing about resolutions is that they usually are not seen all the way through. Why is that? Why do these seemingly admirable goals that everyone is setting rarely get accomplished? I think it is for these reasons.
1) Expecting yourself to completely change without putting in work is not realistic. Some of these resolutions are honorable and awesome, however, to meet them would require a lot of work; and let's face it, we have become a lazy culture. It is ingrained in us to want things quickly and easily. We live in an age of instant gratification, and when things are not fast and easy, we tend to quit. After all, if these complex goals were easy, everyone would be crushing them. If losing 10 lbs was easy, we wouldn't have an obesity crisis in our country. If mentally and emotionally healing from past pain and traumas was easy, we would have no need for mental health professionals. The truth is, any goals that are worth accomplishing will take a lot of hard work and dedication.
2) Sometimes we set unrealistic goals. Knowing that you are about 30 lbs over where you want to be to keep your body healthy is the first step in transitioning to a healthier lifestyle..however, expecting to lose the weight in a super short amount of time, and having it be easy is the stuff of fantasy. Again, as in #1, this is a great goal, but should be done in a healthy, reasonable way- there are no shortcuts, and it will not happen in the tiny window you are setting for yourself. Big goals require big time commitments. When goals are hard, and they seem like they can never be reached, this is where people get discouraged and quit. Big goals require big time and big work.
3) Change and the unknown are scary! In order to accomplish goals, that means you have to change what you are used to. You have to set up a new structure of habits (and stick to them) in order to see any progress. Lifestyle changes are where results live. Making the leap to actually change is hard. There will undoubtedly be a grace period after the initial alteration to daily life where the goals you set seem super attainable-and then reality sets in, and you realize this will not be as easy as you thought. This is where people either quit, or start to drop off the new healthy habits slowly, until they are right back where they started on December 31st. The unknown is outside of our comfort zones. It is a place that causes anxiety and fear. No one wants to live in a place of fear, so we avoid it at all costs. Even though we know we are going back to unhealthy choices and patterns, it is a comfortable place to be, and when life gets sticky, it is easier to be in a comfy place then a scary, unknown one. We are after all, creatures of habit.4) Life is messy. Your kid gets sick, you can't do this today because someone at your job gave you extra work to cover and you have to work late, you have to get the dog to the vet, your spouse is just not supportive this week, there is just not enough time in the day, and the list goes on and on and on. Excuses come in a trillion different forms. The truth is, everyone's life is crazy and messy, but if the goal(s) you set is not on the top of the priority list, it slowly but surely gets pushed down to the bottom, and you're right back where you started. Resolve to give yourself that time to meet your goals.
There are a multitude of reasons we wander away from the goals we set, regardless of the time of year we set them. We should resolve to not set goals just at the end of each year, but to set them when we are moved to do so. There is never a bad time to set new personal goals; or to grow. This has to be a decision made by you because it is a change you desire. It cannot be one made because the calendar is changing. When goals are set out of genuine aspiration, that is where we succeed; this is the sweet spot.
We also need to remember that goals worth accomplishing take time and effort. None that we set will be quick and easy. Keep your head down, and take them one baby step at a time. Break down your big goal into smaller, track-able goals, and crush them one at a time. It is easier to stay on track if you can monitor your progress along the way. Then, on those days of doubt and frustration (those will happen!!) you can remind yourself with tangible evidence, that you are on the right road; you are crushing your goals, one step at a time.Hold yourself accountable. Take the time each day to reflect on all of the pieces and parts that made your day flow. How did you do? What can you do tomorrow that will bring you one step closer to your ultimate goal? How can you refocus if needed? Self motivation is tricky, but oh-so-powerful! However, you don't have to do it alone! Find your people! Find the person or people that will hold you accountable, but also be there for you when you have a hard day. The people who will stand up and cheer for you on those awesome days, and be that motivation when you need it. These people will be like-minded individuals- people who are striving towards greatness as well. You won't find support in those who are stuck. Keep your eyes peeled for the people around you on a journey as well.
I do think that the sentiment of starting a new year/starting fresh with blank slate is a good one. Feeling like starting over with no baggage is empowering. I do understand why people think it necessary to start fresh each year; the appeal is not lost on me. It seems like a restart button and does make some of us feel hopeful. So, if this is the time of year that really does help you reset and reach for new goals, I do not discourage you to do so. Like I said earlier, no goal should have to wait to be started based on a calendar change, however, if this is your mental sweet spot, get it done! No time is the wrong time to start squashing goals.
When all is said and done, goals are a thing of beauty. Growth is necessary in life. Go forth with an open mind, and the will to work your butt off, and the results will speak for themselves.
What goals do you have? Health, fitness, food, personal, family, etc? Share with me in the comments!
